Relationships are great, there’s no denying that. One thing I hear from women often though, is that they don’t understand what they’ve done wrong once their love life runs dry and they find themselves single again. Well, believe it or not, there are some very common mistakes women make that kill relationships, and today I’m going to share with you the five biggest ones.
1. Being Clingy
If your entire day revolves around your man, whether it’s texting him insistently, checking up on his social media, or calling to share what you ate for lunch, then we have a problem. Anticipating that your man should speak with you continually, to consistently be close by, or to rework his life to suit your requirements are away from of tenacity.
That said, sometimes clingy behavior isn’t as obvious, and instead takes the form of being emotionally needy. When this happens, women find themselves upset when their guy doesn’t involve them in all of their plans, or they need daily reassurance and he still likes her or finds her attractive. This kind of desperation is far from attractive,
and it doesn’t take long for men to grow sick and tired of it.
The number one reason why men fear commitment and getting into relationships is that they don’t want to lose their freedom. This is why when you act clingy, it doesn’t take long for him to find the door. Often times this sort of behavior starts off as mildly and can easily be overlooked. Like wildfire though, it can quickly evolve into something much bigger, and when that happens, more often than not the relationship goes up in flames.
Instead of letting your emotions get the best of you, it’s important that you learn how to be your own person. This means having your own interests and activities outside of the relationship. To do so, keep busy with your friends, pick up a new hobby, or take a class you’ve always been interested in.
Zeroing in on different parts of your life won’t just keep your head clear and disposition positive, however, it will likewise allow your person to miss you when you’re nowhere to be found – this is perhaps the most ideal approaches to keep the sparkle alive among you, yet it’s impractical when you act tenaciously.
2. Acting Insecure
Hand in hand with being clingy is acting insecurely. Allow me to explain how this happens, and why it’s so unattractive. Think for a moment about the early days of a relationship. You probably feel like a million bucks around your man, and the buzz you shared was infectious. Over time though, you may start to feel those initial butterflies fade, and when they do, it’s not uncommon for feelings of doubt to come creeping in.
If this happens you might find yourself overanalyzing or looking for small changes or reasons why you think your man is losing interest in you and the relationship. Unfortunately, this is a vicious circle situation, because if you’re bugging him about these things, then he’s bound to get bored with your insecurities and leave. Overcoming insecure feelings can be tough, but the first step to doing so is recognizing these tendencies in yourself.
In fact, you may even think the questions you ask about his female co-workers or comments you make about his dating history are justified, but to him, they’re much heavier and scream insecure. Of course, you’ll have days when you feel less than awesome, we all do, but when those insecure feelings come creeping in it’s important that you keep them under wraps and don’t unleash them on your man.
A good tip for getting into a positive, confident headspace is to make a point to stop focusing on the past or the future, and instead, learn to enjoy the moment. And instead of looking for reasons why you man wouldn’t want to be with you, tell yourself that ANY guy would be lucky to have you.
3. Acting Abusively
Some people believe that it’s okay to take out their daily frustrations on their partner, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Sure, you might get upset with your guy from time to time, but there is never a good reason or excuse to verbally, emotionally, or physically abuse him. This kind of behavior is a guaranteed relationship killer.
You might be thinking, “I’d never do that! and believe me, that’s what most women say. What so many of them fail to realize though is that their words do more damage than they think, so what to them is simply venting, is actually belittling and harmful to their man. To confuse the circumstance much further, on most occasions folks won’t show that what you’ve said has disturbed him, and rather they decide to restrain it.
Since we all like being around people who make us feel good, if you’re doing the opposite and constantly putting your man down, calling him names, or criticizing him then you’re going to be the last woman on earth he’s going to want to be with. To prevent this from happening think before you speak and keep your words kind.
4. Control Issues
If you’re constantly calling the shots, telling your man how to act, or trying to “fix him,” then he’s going to make a
run for it. If he feels he has to compete to get his voice heard or like he has no control over the relationship, it’s only a matter of time until he calls it quits.
Since relationships are about two different people coming together to create something special together, if only one of you is laying down the law then the relationship will become a ticking time bomb. The terrifying thing with control issues is that they aren’t generally self-evident. In fact, you may be controlling without even realizing it, or mistaken these tendencies as “winning because he cares about you.”
It sounds dumb, but something as simple as being the one who chooses what shows you watch, or what you eat for dinner on a regular basis all stems back to control issues. To avoid this be sure that you’re asking for his input and taking his preferences into consideration. Even if the two of you barely agree on anything, relationships are about to give and take, so be sure you’re playing a role in both parts of that.
It can be tough to change a behavior that’s become such a strong part of your personality, so if you notice a controlling tendency in yourself then talk to your guy about it. Openly admit that you realize you have a habit of being power-hungry and tell him that you want to work on it. Letting him know that you recognize this behavior
is the first step to overcoming it, plus who knows, talking about it sooner than later may be the saving grace that prevents him from leaving you.
Everyone has a different idea for what constitutes cheating, so right from the beginning of your relationship – or now if you haven’t already done so – it’s important that the two of you set some boundaries and establish what constitutes cheating.
This may sound unnecessary, but you’d be surprised by what some people consider it to be, and to prevent this kind of heartache, you have to first know. Since cheating is a definitive double-crossing it very well may be difficult to ricochet back once an accomplice has been untrustworthy. To avoid this situation completely, make a point to be completely transparent with your man, and let him know about the uncomfortable situations you may find yourself in.
for instance, let’s say you were out with the girls and a handsome stranger tried to put the moves on you. As much as your man may not want to hear about other guys coming onto you, hearing it from you are so much better than hearing it from someone else he knows who may have witnessed it goes down.
Lastly, remember that double standards don’t exist in a healthy relationship, so if you’re behaving one way and have different expectations for your man then the relationship is going to crumble. Rather try to be reasonable and treat him and the relationship a similar route as you’d like him to.
At the end of the day, men want to be with the kind of woman who brings something positive to his life, not one who sucks the life out of him. In case you’re acting like a parasite, putting him down, attempting to give orders, or sneaking around despite his good faith, at that point you will lose him.