The agony of betrayal hits everyone to the core. Such experiences often shatter the victim’s self-confidence and leave them as more angry, bitter, and deeply devastated individuals.
Is it possible for them to ever start trusting people again?
Let’s see what experts say The first thing you need is to understand is the idea of trust. Before you have faced the trauma of treachery, you might have thought that you do trust others. However, what you actually believed was how others would act according to the prevailing norms of society around you. For example, you believed that the members of the family love and take care of each other. You believed that couples in relationships would stay loyal and respect each other. You believed that people in power positions e.g. boss and managers would have uprightness.
You anticipated the people around you have appropriate limits and perform in suitable manners. You thought that if you are respecting their boundaries and are adhering to them strictly, they would also reciprocate. These expectations are natural instincts of human social fabrics, and others think and expect in the same way as well.
Moreover, they also have their understanding of what is right and what is wrong, and undoubtedly, they know what is being expected of them. Hence, it is completely understandable that you expected them to act rightfully and respect the social norms like you. But it did not go that way and you were proven erroneous.
The person you recognized, the person you cared for and have faith on, played deceit on you and broke that trust, and hence, breaking those social standards, sending you in a pool of distrust and crushing your faith in people. So, is it possible that you will trust people for a second time? Well, in most of the cases, the answer would definitely be a No.
You will not be able to trust in the way you used to before that experience of duplicity. If a pot breaks into pieces, you can attach them again, but this is not the case with your trust. The idea of belief will never be the same again and rightfully so.
First of all, It is important to realize that people might not always act according to your expectation only because you have believed or have expected them to. Apprehending this fact is difficult as it will be shockingly farfetched. You may deal for years to swallow its bitterness. As a matter of fact, the pain and agony may always be felt every time you contemplate it. It is horrendous.
“How could I am betrayed, deceived, and lied by the very same person at whom I relied on, the person I valued, and the person I adored?”. The imprints of such encounters are disturbing. The victims are heard saying universal proclamations e.g., “I will never trust any person from now on,” or that all people of a specific race or country are dishonest. These universal proclamations are actually your emotional response in order to give you a sense of safety.
It is an evasion approach to be cautious. Some f you might even call out to not trust anything at all. Other resort by going towards animals for maintaining social backing. Such kinds of reactions are totally reasonable because the trauma of betrayal is too painful to ever experience. As consequences of these responses, with a sense of distrust, you will face difficulties in building relationships.
However, good relationships are essential in some cases, such as at workplaces. So how we repair this problem of mistrusts that we can again enjoy from healthy connections? I would suggest that one should not uncritically put his trust in others; instead one might have steps of trust where one’s trust grows over time.
The process to construct the belief involves observing people’s conduct, behavior to you, as well as towards others. Do they demonstrate honor (like their words match their activities), reverence, faithfulness, and helpful to others? If yes, give them a chunk of more from your faith. It should not be only black or white. For example, you could trust a particular individual for certain things but not for others.
Some people are always there for you while some might crumble. You can like others for who they actually are with custom-made anticipations and changing points of hope. Some of them you trust with reserved material, while for others, you might not be safe with your mysteries, no matter how much you really enjoy being with them.